Thursday, March 29, 2018

This Thing Called LIFE. Vanity. Upon. Vanity


Cynthia Amaize

Cynthia Ovuede.

Federal Government Girls College. 1989. We liked FGGC Benin because at least we could make our hair even in JSS1, unlike our UDSS counterparts.

I guess we bonded because we were day students. We rode the bus together.  For years. Until as expected in Nigeria, the bus deteriorated and it stopped working. Then we took the 'tukay-tukay' bus to Ring Road, and then I took one to Giwa Amu. You took one to Ihama.

Sometimes we sang in the school bus.

The only parties I went to was in your house. Your parents were always fine for me to spend hours in your house.

We were the only ones who didn't make it to University after the first attempt at JAMB. But you didn't allow us to wallow in self pity. You got a lesson teacher, and dragged my reluctant ass to attend.

We wrote JAMB again, and we both got into University of Benin.  I remember, it was your dad that took us to the VC's office, so I could check if 'my name' came out in Industrial Chemistry! and to my surprise, I found that I was admitted into Chemical Engineering.

Your dad called me to congratulate me. He was so happy for me!

I remember your sister's first child. I came to your house and rubbed talcum powder on everyone's neck.

I remember us talking about our firsts. First loves. First kiss. First Boyfriends.

I remember how I spent the Christmas holiday in 2006, and you dragged my overweight ass to the gym, as you prepared for the wedding.  I could not attend the wedding sadly, as it was too close to my brother's demise and funeral, but you called me all the time to console me.

Then you moved to Lagos, and I remember you being pregnant with your first child, and all the morning sickness that came with it.  I was so excited when you had your baby.

You never did the 'I am married now', so single friends stay off. You never did the 'I am married now and so happy, when are you getting married' trap thingy that most married women fall into.

I remember how excited you were when I told you I was getting married. To your in-law for that matter. What were the odds that we will both get married to Delta men?

You showed up full force for my wedding, with Omua and her kids.

My entire family was so happy to see you. My dad calls you Small doctor. Ehen, small Cynthia of yesterday is now a doctor, he would say playfully.  Patricia, my elder sister will call you fellow colleague.

The last time we saw was in Benin in 2016 for my Mom's funeral. You came to visit, you stayed with my Dad and my sister even though I was not there.

You came for the thanksgiving service and stayed home with me. We talked about everything under the sun. You brought your three beautiful kids. It was great to see my Dad smile again.

And then I am scolling through facebook on a Monday, And I see Rest in Peace?

What is life then. After all this struggle, it just ends?

Do not tell me 'it is well'.
Do not tell me God knows Best
Do not tell me God has a plan.

God is God. Agreed.
His ways are not ours. Agreed.

I am still struggling to come to terms with my Moms passing, and after some reflection, I realised that  God is truly not as concerned about the first Death, for we must all die. He is more concerned if you lived right, so you can attain eternal life and not experience the second death, post his 2nd coming.

So, Life. Death. in this first phase of the world is what it is - a phase.

That does not make it easy to swallow. How does one explain this to those left behind who grieve for the loss.
The parents.
The siblings
The husband
The children.

Life. Meaningless.  Sigh.

So many things I wished I said to you. But thank you so much for being my friend.
You were a true friend. Tried. Tested. Resolute in what truly holds the fabric of living. 

Rest in peace bosom. 

1 comment:

This Thing Called LIFE. Vanity. Upon. Vanity

Cynthia. Cynthia Amaize Cynthia Ovuede. Federal Government Girls College. 1989. We liked FGGC Benin because at least we could make ou...